All the world is a stage, and all the people merely puppets forced to dance a crazy dance for the amusement of some sick weirdos.

Midnight affirmation. In the dead of night, when no one is around and you start to believe that no one--absolutely no one--cares about you, repeat this affirmation is a breathy whisper until you feel a little better. It may take a while, but be patient. However, if morning arrives and you're still as panic-stricken and pathetic as before, just move on to another affirmation already. Geez.